I hear you’re great at earning the the “sarcasm” merit badge. [Insert conspicuous eye roll here.]
Thanks so much to the person who typed that word into the search box so I could use it for Non-Request Week. (Because nothing says sincerity like italics.)
Part of the merit badges for writers series. The badge may be posted on your site or blog. Tell us why you’ve earned (or will never earn) it in the comments.
Another day of Non-Request Week, another badge that needs to find a meaning.
So, the “cell phone” merit badge—is it for cell phone ownership*? Etiquette? Other?
You tell me, Badger Scouts. It was one of you who searched for it in the first place.
The badge may be posted on your site or blog. Tell us why you’ve earned (or will never earn) it in the comments.
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*Welcome to the late 90s, by the way.†
_
†Okay, I didn’t have a cell phone until way after everyone else did, either.
The “chicken” merit badge is next up in Non-Request Week! (Also known as “Be Careful What You Wish For Week.”)
Is it a merit badge for raising chickens? It certainly couldn’t be a merit badge for being a chicken, since everybody knows that’s enough to make a person throw their shiny-rainbow-future-hat.
Actually… If we combine this badge with yesterday’s badge, I’m starting to wonder if someone was using the blog search box to order pizza toppings.
The badge may be posted on your site or blog. Tell us why you’ve earned (or will never earn) it in the comments.
A new year means it’s time for a special bit of weirdness, Badger Scouts! I’ve been trawling last year’s site stats, and come up with a list of terms people searched the blog for that resulted in 0 hits. Presumably someone was looking for a merit badge that related to those search terms, only to be disappointed. So sad.
BUT: Now we can fix it with the first-ever Merit Badger Non-Request Week! I’ll be rescuing some of those search terms from the data dustbin, and turning them into badges—even if I don’t know why someone would want such a badge.
Speaking of which, here’s the first Non-Request badge of the week. The “pineapple” merit badge is for… loving pineapples? Growing pineapples? Being the hands-free pineapple-eating champion of the world?
I HAVE NO IDEA! But someone searched for it, so now it exists.
The badge may be posted on your site or blog. Tell us why you’ve earned (or will never earn) it in the comments.
Earn the “shh!” merit badge by finding a nice quiet place to read. (Or, failing that, by making everyone in a noisy space SHUT UP ALREADY!)
Part of the merit badges for readers series. The badge may be posted on your site or blog. Tell us why you’ve earned (or will never earn) it in the comments.
I/you/they earn the “first person,” “second person,” or “third person” merit badge by using the appropriate point-of-view when writing my/your/their story.
I/you/they can earn each badge for stories I’ve/you’ve/they’ve written with different POVs, though I/you/they may not want to try earning all three badges with one story of mine/yours/theirs. That would probably make me/you/them a little dizzy.
Part of the merit badges for writers series. The badge may be posted on your site or blog. Tell us why you’ve earned (or will never earn) it in the comments.
Zombie shoelaces.
We’ll wrap up Non-Request Week with the “zombie shoelaces” merit badge. BECAUSE HOW COULD WE NOT?
(Okay, to be fair, I see how this search happened. But I still had to draw it. BECAUSE HOW COULD I NOT?)
The badge may be posted on your site or blog. Tell us why you’ve earned (or will never earn) it in the comments.